Friday, November 14, 2014

Walking the Camino

I went to see this movie tonight, all by myself.  Whoop!
What a surreal experience for me.  I forgot how enjoyable that can be -- just me and the big screen.  And the movie itself was excellent.  Gave me lots to think about:  facing your fears, calming your demons, finding peace and solitude, connecting with nature, honouring your body, embracing change, challenging your mind and spirit.  Wow.  I'm certain all who have seen this movie left feeling inspired.  I will do this pilgrimage someday.  On my own.  Once the kids are older, sigh.  Interesting parallel for me is that I need to walk my own Camino of sorts right now.  I need to heal my heart, make a fresh start and figure out what I want. And I can only do this alone.  I've spent the last five months wrapped up in deceit, guilt, anxiety and sadness.  I know there is still more of that to come -- need to live through the emotions in order to get over them.  But after seeing this movie, I feel more at peace than I've felt in a long time.  The lies are behind me now.  It still hurts and the shame and guilt will likely always be there.  But I can look at myself in the mirror now.  I have to impress no one. I'm not putting my happiness in the hands of someone else either.  No more anxiety.  And that is something to be grateful for.

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