Poverty

First-hand account of what poverty truly feels like and how wrong society is to judge the poor.  I found this really heart-retching, yet so informative.

Some take-aways:

When you are poor, you have little to no hope for getting out of poverty.  Why save when you will be out of money in three days?  This really struck a chord for me because sadly am one of those who don't understand why the poor don't save.  There's little to no savings.  And really what difference does that extra bit of cash make.  Might as well enjoy life's guilty pleasures.  Savings is for the rich.

Employers of low income jobs often forbid their employees from taking on more work, to ensure they can be available for extra shifts as needed.  Again, heart-breaking.

Low income jobs pay no benefits.  I knew this, but when you stop to think about most of the poor are one pay cheque away from bankruptcy, should they get sick and need to either take time off or pay for medical treatment, it's a very sad thought.

Cooking attracts roaches.  Junk food is faster and cheaper.  Again, I was always baffled why the poor generally made such bad food choices.  Yes, fresh fruit and vege are unjustly more expensive then prepared meals, but surely there's an economical way to eat healthy?  There may be, but its not worth the effort. Working two jobs, caring for family, commuting crazy distances to get to work ... none of these make healthy eating easy.

Employers of low income jobs do not respect their employees.  The working conditions, lack of recognition, lack of trust, draconian mgmt style, lack of benefits, etc.  all of it meant to put the poor in their place -- to make them feel grateful they even have a job, so they won't ask for more.  Sickening.

there is no such thing as a stupid question

Wrong!  Most questions that my spouse asks me are in fact stupid.  And most of the time I ignore him completely.  My silence says "don't disrupt my peace with your stupid question, you should know the answer to this, I am so fed up that you would even think to ask me, you are on your own with this problem".  I would also add "I think so little of you right now". OUCH!! I didn't realize just how damaging this was until a good friend of mine was telling me how much it hurt to feel unsupported.  "Take a look in the mirror D" is all I could think. I do this in spades.  And not just with my partner too.  My silence hurts worse than words.

Time to dig a little deeper to the root of my annoyance:
1) I really admire resourcefulness:  so when someone asks me what I think is a stupid question, I lose a little bit of respect for them.  We are always trying to encourage our kids to figure things out on their own and to help themselves.  Man up! is all I want to scream.
2) I feel disrespected:  my motto is 'dont ask someone to do something you can do yourself'. "Mind getting me a fork (seeing as you are up)".  A few times is okay, but it's an easy trap to fall into.  Fine line between efficiency and laziness.
3) He's not learning the lesson:  same question over and over again is exasperating.  Does he save his intellect for the office, because I see no effort on his part to actually learn from the experience.  Again, goes back to respect.

But in all fairness, maybe he's forgotten the answer or truly wants (and respects) my opinion or wants me to be a part of the process (e.g. making dinner together).  Also, sometimes it's just quicker (and safer) to ask rather than risk failure ... and suffer the consequences of pissing me off. :-(

Better to just answer the question and shelf the feelings of annoyance.  But if still pissed, I could try gently -- yes gently reminding him that I prefer he not ask me that question because "insert reasonable reason". Practice:
Q: should I cook these together in the same over or in separate ovens?
D: I don't have an opinion on that.
  ... too bitchy, try again
D: why do you ask?
  ... answering a question with a question that basically says "why would you ask me such a stupid question", try again
D: I don't think it really matters.  By the time the lower oven heats up, the first batch will be done.  If you're not in a hurry then just wait a few extra minutes.
good answer, but I am still feeling annoyed that he asked me this, try again
D:  I'd appreciate it if you would try to figure these things out on your own rather then ask me just because I am here.  Even though I may look available, there's often a million things going on in my head and I don't like to be interrupted to answer something I think you already know the answer to or answer something you could just figure out on your own.  I feel that you don't respect my time.

Yikes.  I need to work on this.

I love to skate

Got back on the ice this year and MAN, I did not realize how much I missed it!  As soon as I started to stroke around the rink -- instant sensory overload.  The smell brought me right back, and I'm not talking about changeroom/hockey bag stink.  The unique smell of an indoor rink flooded my memory of a lifetime spent skating.  And then the wind in my hair and at my ears, the sound of the ice cutting at my feet, the damp cold of the air.  So intoxicating.  And the social -- my girls, all of us ex-figure skaters, all of us with the same shared childhood experience of loving skating.  Amazing how easily it all came back too.  Sure, I'm not jumping and now I get dizzy when I spin.  But there is so much that is still automatic for me.  Muscle memory is truly remarkable. It just felt so natural to be on the ice again.  When I see 80 year olds old there doing their thing, I can't help but smile because I know that will be me too.  I love skating!

What Drains You

I cant remember where I found this handy check-list.  Lots of sources of energy-suckers.

Relationships
____ There are people in my life who continuously drain my energy.
____ I have unreturned phone calls, e-mails, or letters that need to be handled.
____ I have an unresolved conflict with a family member.
____ I lack quality friendships in my life.
____ I feel a void in my life created by the lack of a romantic partner.
____ There is someone I need to forgive.
____ There is a relationship I need to end.
____ There is a phone call I dread making, and it causes me stress and anxiety.
____ I’m currently involved in a relationship that compromises my values.
____ I miss being part of a loving and supportive community.
Environment
____ My car is in need of cleaning and/or repair.
____ My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations.
____ I’d like to live in a different geographic location.
____ I have appliances that need repair or upgrading.
____ My home is not decorated in a way that nurtures me.
____ My closets and/or basement are cluttered and need to be cleaned.
____ Repairs need to be done around my home or apartment.
____ My home is cluttered and disorganized.
____ I miss having more beauty reflected in my environment.
____ I watch too much television.
Body, Mind, and Spirit
____ I eat food that’s not good for me.
____ Something about my physical appearance bothers me.
____ It’s been too long since I’ve been to the dentist.
____ I do not get the sleep I need to feel fully rested.
____ I’d like to exercise regularly but never seem to find the time.
____ I have a health concern for which I’ve avoided getting help.
____ I have emotional needs that consistently go unmet.
____ There are books that I’d love to read but never seem to find the time for.
____ I lack personal interests that are intellectually stimulating.
____ I lack a spiritual or religious practice in my life.
What’s Draining You? 2
Work
____ I no longer enjoy my job and have a hard time showing up each day.
____ My work is stressful and leaves me exhausted at the end of the day.
____ My office is disorganized, my desk is a mess, and I have trouble finding what I need.
____ I’m avoiding a confrontation or conflict at work.
____ I tolerate bad behavior from a boss or coworker.
____ I am not computer literate, and it gets in the way of my productivity.
____ I lack the proper office equipment that I need to do my job well.
____ My work does not allow me to express my creativity.
____ I know I need to delegate specific tasks but am unable to let go of control.
____ I feel overwhelmed with the amount of information that enters my life in the form of mail,
books, magazines, and e-mail.
Money
____ I have tax returns that are not filed or taxes that are not paid.
____ I pay my bills late.
____ I spend more than I earn.
____ I don’t have a plan for my financial future.
____ My credit rating is not what I’d like it to be.
____ I do not have a regular savings plan.
____ I do not have adequate insurance coverage.
____ My mortgage rate is too high, and I need to refinance.
____ I have debt that needs to be paid off.
____ My will is not up to date.

Findability

I had the pleasure of hearing Peter Morville speak at a conference on Resource Discovery yesterday and his message really started to challenge my thinking on the role of IM.

I've been a disciple of metadata for many years.... tweak the search engine. But dont forget about the Information Architecture (IA)

Here are my take-aways:

Search is a way to learn. What we seek changes based on what we find. In our quest to optimize search we have to be careful that we do not remove the learning opportunity that search provides.

Search is not the only answer. We need to provide facetted navigation to provide context ...

In order for search to be successful:

• the best results HAVE to be first
• people expect actionable results
• auto-complete is a must
• auto-suggest, because it helps people get un-stuck
• predictability is a must, so that the next click is not a mystery

Some great examples of poor website IAs and ones that worked.  Very grateful to have seen him speak.

Sibling Rivalry

Like most parents, the kids fighting really grates on our nerves. How can we have peace in our lives with this constant bickering. I'm tired of being their referee!

Here's a nice summary from the book Siblings Without Rivarly:

Level I - Normal Bickering
Ignore it!

Level II - Situation heating up, adult intervention might be helpful
1. Acknowledge their anger (e.g. "you two sound mad at eachother")
2. Reflect Each Child's Point of View (e.g. "So Johnny you want to play with the game because you found it first. And you Susie feel you are entitled to a turn too")
3. Describe the Problem with Respect (e.g. "That's a tough one -- two children and only one game")
4. Express confidence in the children's ability to find their own solution
(I'm sure you two can work out a solution that's fair to each of you")
5. Leave the room

Level III - Situation Possibly Dangerous
1. Inquire (e.g. "is this a play fight or a real fight?")
2. Reminding children that playfighting is by mutual consent -- if both aren't haven't fun, then it's got to stop
3. Respect your feelings (e.g. "you may be playing, but it's too rough for me. You need to find another activity")

Level IV - Situation Definitely Dangerous Adult Intervention Necessary
1. Describe what you see (e.g. "I see two very angry children who are about to hurt each other")
2. Separate the children ("It's not safe to be together. We must have a cooling-off period. Quick, you to your room and you to mine")

BLEH!! I'm so used to jumping in and screaming at them. How can I possibly stay calm enough to be empathetic? Apparently this works. I have friends who say this WORKS.

Sacred Economics

I'm reading the Sacred Economics right now and the timing couldn't be more perfect because I've been feeling very discouraged about our future -- the time will soon come when the planet will no longer be able to support all 7 billion of us.  I'm troubled because I am complicit to this system of unfettered growth, exploitation,  over consumption and resource depletion.  And the only option that seems viable to me right now is to check-out of the system altogether -- homestead and become self-sustaining.  But without electricity how could we realistically survive?  I have no life skills.  I have office skills FFS.  I am not resilient either.  Nor do I feel that separateness is the solution. So instead I just throw up my arms and resolve to wait for my families eventual demise.

But then I started reading this book and it put forth some solutions that 'could' work.  Today's problems were created from growth which is necessary to keep money in circulation. I'm finally beginning to see the problem -- money is created from debt, so that there is always more debt than actual money in circulation.  Repayment of debt (principal + interest) means that more goods and services need to be created, regardless if we truly need it.  Hense the need for growth.  Today we live in a world where everything is for sale.  Resources have been sucked dry, chemicals have been pumped into our water and air, people have been exploited .... and yet we are not happier.  How ironic is it that more 'goods' don't actually mean more 'goodness'. Externalities, such as the environment, our health, safety and freedom are not built into the cost of anything we consume.  Corporates take their profits and everyone else pays for the mess.  This book proposes embedding the things we hold sacred into the price of goods and services.  For example, the price of strawberries from California would reflect the transportation costs (including road maintenance) to bring them here, the cost of depleting their acquifers and eroding their soil to grow them, and the emissions cost to plant and harvest them such that they would be way more expensive then local produce.  Companies would have an economic incentive to not pollute or exploit.  We would buy less things because products would be built to last, healthy food would be more affordable than junk food and people everywhere would earn a living wage.  Bliss!  A carbon tax/cap and trade system is similar, but only looks at one facet.  This system would factor in multiple externalities. It sounds complicated to implement, but it's the right thing to do.  I believe people want to know the effects of their actions, and want to take responsibility for them.  This system simply makes producers pay for what they currently take from 'the commons', thereby contributing to future sustainability.  It's kind of like an indirect tax -- you pay for what you take, not for what you earn.

The other concept is of negative interest.  Money is the only resource that grows by doing nothing.  Everything else decays.  The author's example:  if I have 12 loaves of bread, I will give you some because I can't possible use it all before it goes stale.  If in the future, you  have extra loaves, you would most likely give them to me.  This is how a gift economy works.  But with money, we have a liquidity preference to hold on to more money (hoard) and not share.  This book proposes negative interest such that money would lose it's value by holding on to it -- kind of like a depositor's tax.  Imagine having to pay to affix postage-style stamps to your money to keep it's value up.  You'd want to spend it on what you need and not accumulate what you don't need. This is a huge mind shift from the current system and sadly I can't see it ever taking hold because those with accumulated wealth stand to lose the most.  I'm just starting to read the details of such a system and have many qs.  For starters, how would the financial system work?  The author explains that banks would make money by lending at zero or negative rates which would be less than the rate of depletion (e.g. loans at -5% interest is better than -7% depletion).  Borrowing money would not create more money and growth would occur naturally rather than out of necessity (to pay down debt).  It's kind of an out-there concept, but one that's starting to make sense for me.

Looking forward to see if other share these ideas and if they have any hope of becoming a reality.  Because our current system is not working and will not last.