Occupy Wall Street

This demonstration against corporate greed and lack of accountability both on wall street and in government makes me shudder. It's the G20 all over again. And it will produce the same outcome -- hundreds of innocent people will have their rights (rights to freedom of expression and association) stripped from them, the police will use unnecessary force to shut down dissension, the media will portray the protesters as a bunch of hippie anarchists and the rest of the world won't bat an eye. It makes me SICK.
So, what am I going to do about it? Pull my money out of the big bank? Sell my financial sector investments? Write a letter to my MP? SIGH. I will do nothing about it. My money is safer in the bank then under my mattress. The financial sector as evil as they are are make a shit load of money and are less risky then depleted resource of volatile tech companies. And I'm not even sure what I would say to my MP about commercial finance in Canada (we're more regulated thankfully). No, I suck. My heart is with those that are occupying wall street though. And unfortunately that's where my support starts and ends. Maybe I can do my part to raise awareness of what caused the financial crisis and also draw attention to the fact that no one has been held accountable for it. No one! xx

Hormonal Hell

I feel like I'm 12 again because it's the first time in a long time that I'm tracking my menstrual cycle -- not because I want to get pregnant, but so that I can better understand how hormones are affecting my mood. I also feel obliged to warn my partner. Today was a crazy day. It started out with a bang -- I awoke from the happiest dream and everything at work was perfect. But then I started to cramp up. By the end of the day I felt anxious and annoyed, let-down, tired and depressed. While everyone was getting dinner ready, I was sitting in the dark in my closet for nearly half an hour. What is wrong with me? And then I checked my calendar. So I took some ibuprofen, did some yoga, pigged out on chocolate and put on some Glee and now I feel much better. I wish I was more body-aware like my partner. What's causing these waves of depression? My circumstances, thoughts, hormones or all of the above.
Another factor could very well be the universe. A friend of mine noticed that she and I were having problems communicating recently. I had noticed as well, but could not explain it. In fact all my relationships were strained. And then she told me that Mercury was in retrograde. It happens three times a year and affects some people quite severely. I know very little about Astrology, but from what I've read this period is marked by personal misunderstandings flawed, disrupted, or delayed communications and negotiations. By Aug 23, I was supposedly back to normal. It won't be back again until Nov. 24th -- will be interesting to see if I am causing the behaviour because of my knowledge of the retrograde or if the retrograde provokes the change.
Well, good thing about tonight is that I put on a brave face (after I got out of the closet) and talked myself out of my darkness. Here's hoping that tomorrow is brighter. xx

Karma, why are you always on my ass?

No sooner do I toot my own horn about what a great single parent I am and how easy it was to take care of everything while my partner was on business, then Karma shows up to bitch slap me in the face with another business trip. WTF!!
Thankfully this one won't be as long. But why get me when I'm down? I need a break. Did I not show enough appreciation? I adore the kids, but I miss not having the freedom to just leave the house. I miss not having someone to defer to when I am not up to task. I miss not having the choice to be irresponsible. This sucks ass. BUT I do know for sure that I can do it alone and that I'll probably be stronger for it too.

Welcome Home!

I'm really big on letting people I care about know when they've been missed. I think we all deserve a hero's welcome when we've been away from home. I'm glad you're back. I missed you. If feels nice to know that you matter to someone else, that your absence affected them in some way. It doesn't have to be fancy (although I'll never forget how special I felt when an old boyfriend picked me up at the airport with flowers). It just has to be sincere. I even let colleagues know I'm glad to have them back in the office. Think of the good vibes you get when dear pet greets you at the door, especially after you've had a shitty day.

For me welcoming someone home is right up there with wishing them on their birthday. A birthday wish says "I'm happy that you were born." I've taken it upon myself to wish all my friends, family and colleagues, regardless if they wish me. I suppose people figure that aging past certain milestones should not be celebrated. Not me. I hope the kids learn from my example. I know that tomorrow they will adorn their dad with hugs and kisses and that it will be straight from the heart. I can't wait to see it for myself.

You Can Do It!

I deserve a gold star, if I don't say so myself. I survived two weeks of single parenthood and did a bang up job. Not only did I do my partner's regular chores -- baths, teeth, reading, garbage and dishes, but I also got down on the ground and PLAYED with the kids. We wrestled, did acrobatics, biked, baked, did crafts, played floor hockey, sang, danced. I don't know what I was dreading because it was FUN. The discipline was tough because I forgot how much I defer to my partner. I also missed not getting a break until after 10 pm and I missed exercise. But what a great experience to show me how capable I truly am and to make me grateful for having a super partner to share the load. I had forgotten about this since running the half last year -- the old adage is true -- "you can do anything you put your mind to".

I want, I want, I want

I spent a lot of time this week going off on how crappy my life is. "I want what they have." "I want my partner to do that to me." "I want simplicity". "I want to not want money."
How about wanting what you have D? Because what I have is pretty amazing. I don't even have to compare my life to the rest of the world to realize how good I have it. Appreciate. It's all about perception. If you're content with what you have, you have no reason to want anything more and surprise surprise you realize that you are indeed HAPPY!

Progress

It really burns me to see people pushing their beliefs and lifestyle on others especially when what they are selling is a load of horse shit. I feel it's particularly irresponsible to convince those in under-developed countries that our way of life is the ideal. Just look at how well we've exported our plastic garbage, manufactured entertainment, and selfish profit motive overseas. In doing so, we've messed with their perception of happiness and created in them a burning desire for materialism and consumerism. And they have no idea of all the dysfunction that emanates. This is not to say that we should not be grateful for the rights, freedoms and opportunities we have. We are fortunate in so many ways. But there's also a dark side to wealth. And we hide it so well -- the waste, the debt, the exploitation, the meds, the destruction.

When I hear others singing the praises of 'progress', I want so badly to cast a spotlight on the other side. A balanced viewpoint would curb people's enthusiasm for our destructive lifestyle. Perhaps it's just human nature to want what you don't have. I just feel like they are impressionable and that we are corrupting their spirit. Instead, we are the ones that need to take a page out of their lifestyle and learn from their simplicity, connection to nature and altruism.

This isn't a particularly uplifting post tonight, but I needed to get this out of my head before I go ape shit on my French prof again. Progress is not building a 900km highway in Africa, it's feeding and educating the planet.