Attachment

 

I don´t think much about attachment parenting these days because it´s just something we learned to do ten years ago, because it made a lot of sense to D and I.  We consciously formed a close bond with our babies by nursing, carrying them and co-sleeping so that we could easily respond to their needs.  This hopefully made them feel secure that we loved them and would not abandon them.

But recently I stumbled onto an article on how attachment affects adulthood. It´s a good reminder of why this is so important.

• Secures have a greater sense of general well-being -- they are more self-confident and more balanced and realistic in their expectations of themselves
• Under stress, secures stick to the task better -- they don´t become either highly emotional or deny the problem
• Secures are less likely to use alcohol for coping
• Secures are happier in relationships and are less distant, defensive or distressed by feeling vulnerable
• Secures are less frustrated with their partners, less ambivalent about their relationships and less jealous, clinging or fearful of abandonment
• Secures become angry less often, but they see anger as more constructive, feel better during arguments, see less hostility in their partners´ intentions and expect more positive outcomes
• Secure are more likely to see their partners as trustworthy friends and can accept their faults
• Secures are less likely to show physiological arousal when separated from their partners
• Secures are less likely to engage in sex without feeling love for their sexual partners

Well, there you have it.  I am not a Secure.
This is good information though.  I´ve done right by my kids.  I really hope this is true and that they will have great relationships because they are secure.