Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Married men who lust after other women

It's by no ways a revelation that men lust after women.  However I'm starting to see it more with men I know who have been married for 10+ years.  I was at a party recently where the alcohol was flowing freely and people were having a great time.  Guys I knew, who were at the party with their wives in fact, started to hit on me.  Granted, booze makes you lose inhibitions and I was probably giving off some crazy alcohol-induced 'come f-me vibes' .  But the whole experience was bizarre for me because it was clear that these guys were not planning on taking me home.  I'm sure there was a lot of crazy forbidden stuff going on in their minds.  But I know these men -- they were not looking to have an affair.  So why flirt when you know it can't go anywhere?  I started to think that perhaps the reason behind their behaviour was that they were starved for attention. Even though their wives were incredible women (and some of them were super hot themselves), and their marriages very strong, these men still wanted to be noticed and appreciated by other women.
In the past I would misinterpret this kind of interest by assuming it was 'me' they were interested in.  Sadly, it has very little to do with the other person.  It's about feeling good again.  The charge you get when someone different laughs at your jokes, recognizes your insight or notices your biceps.  This is what most men enjoy.  Their marriages are still sacred and their loyalty unbreakable.  Flirting does not in anyway change how much they love their wives. 

So now when a married man flirts with me I understand that it doesn't mean that they are at all interested in me or more importantly, interested in messing up their life.  They are interested in me giving them some attention.  Sad and pathetic, yes.  Women are likely doing the same thing but for different reasons.  At least now I know.  And knowing is what keeps me grounded.

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