Child Abuse is No Cartoon

I'm going to weigh in on this too -- this weekend's FB campaign to change your profile pic to your fav childhood cartoon to show your support for ending violence against children. And yes I did it -- not because I actually thought it would help the cause, but because it seemed like a fun thing to do. And was there ever a backlash. Take this posting for example- http://www.balefulregards.com/2010/12/child-abuse-is-no-cartoon.html. I felt awful after reading it -- was I making light of child abuse by messing around with FB? What should I really do about it? There are millions of helpless children who have no one who can save them. And here I sit at my PC lamenting about how stressful XMas shopping is!

 

Well, with most things lately, the first thing I can do is look in the mirror. What kind of a parent am I? Not in "theory", but in practice. I may not hit my kids, but am I verbally abusive? How many times has my yelling brought them to tears? What about when I'm just a bit too firm when physically removing them from a fight with each other, or hauling their butts up the stairs while they scream and flail? This is what I have control over -- staying in control. And what about neglect? Putting on the TV or signing them up for yet another activity when I should just be playing with them. Feigning interest in my son's stories when I'm too preoccupied with my troubles? Or even not wanting to put in the effort in my relationship for the sake of the kids. *sigh* These are the things that that FB campaign made me think about. I know I can be the parent I want to be if I just dig deep and feel the love. I remember how impressionable I was as a child. I remember being afraid of my Dad and trying so hard to make him happy. I remember my parents yelling and screaming, name-calling, and threatening. Children deserve happy childhoods. If I haven't accomplished anything in my life, I at least want to say that I gave my three babies that much. xx

Influence

Every time my partner and I get talking about what's wrong in the world, the conversation inevitbly ends with one of us saying -- what we desperately need is campaign finance reform. It's just too easy to judge corrupt politicians and greedy capitalists. However, I'm starting to see how preferential treatment influences my own judgement.

I'm building on the ideas I first heard Jesse Hirsh talk about this week -- the power of recommendations. I'm all about openness (to a fault). I love to share and see others benefit from any good deals or worthwhile local activities I've discovered. I also rely on my network of like-minded friends to share with me their fav books, movies, songs, recipes, restaurants, advice, whatever -- just give it to me baby! So what happens when a corporation thanks me for my recommendation? I'm invited to attend a focus group or asked to review some new products in exchange for a little pampering (a few drinks and nibblies to share with other Westboro Moms perhaps)? At that point I am no different than the bought politicians I abhor! And let's face I am a sucker for a pretty face. Sales people love me. So when someone hot shows their appreciation for my oh-so-discriminating taste and tosses a few freebies my way, bias has already been created. What harm is there in saying a few kind words or letting them use me to promote their wares. The obligation is there and who doesn't want a win-win anyway?

*Sigh* Everyone does indeed have a price. Maybe openness is how you counter this. A friend of mine said he recently read a review for a computer game and the reviewer explicitly stated that the software company invited him down to Disney World to review the game. Was his review biased? Probably. But at least he was open about it. Of course people don't want to admit that this is happening. In fact when talking about this today, this same friend said "that's really no different from being flown out to Seattle to meet with Microsoft" .... UGH!

Hell, at least I am aware. I can't stop this from happening. Nor can I judge the sytem. I will continue to offer up and seek out reccomendations (that's just who I am) -- but with a critical eye.

Used

My head is swimming with ideas after having the pleasure of hearing Jesse Hirsh speak at a conference this week. I haven't felt this inspired in a long time. I want to get some of these out of my head and think about them -- they really are golden. xx

Ever stop to think about what the Internet is? It's something we've come to rely on, but never talk about. How do you use it? How does it use us? The seduction is powerful, no doubt about it. What does Google, FB, Twitter really want to be? And what is our role in all of this?

In his presentation, Jesse started talking about Web 3.0. --the personalization of content to the point of it being able to anticipate your needs ... which is pretty scary when I stop to think about what that world looks like. Only give me content I'm interested in. No wonder we've become so narcissistic! In fact he went on to say that as a society we are experiencing insularity to the extreme. NO! Isn't technology supposed to tear down barriers and expose us to a world of diverse cultures and ideas? How did we even get here?

It started with Web 2.0. I can now create content as easily as I consume it and that's powerful. But how is all my precious content being used? Is it being used against me? Data mining has been around for ages, but now I'm hearing more about sentiment analysis -- scrapping tweets to predict things like box office success or product market penetration. Marketers are starting to figure out that if the masses are talking about them anyway, then why not pay them to keep talking? Such is the rise of micro-advertising and micro-celebrities which are spokespeople you don't have to pay. Just throw a few freebies (like concert tickets) their way and they'll keep influencing their social networks. In fact there are even tools now that claim to identify who has clout. But we're a savvy bunch and know when we're being advertised to, right? Not so much, because now my online network of 'friends' are trying to sell me shit I don't need. Nice. According to Jesse, there's power in recommendations. We are relying on our networks more and more to influence our buying decisions. ... which is not going unnoticed by marketers. In fact you can read more about Twitter's resonance algorithm yourself -- advertisers pay to elevate tweets that support them.

Why do I feel like I'm being raped? I innocently use these tools on a daily basis to stay connected to my family and friends. But really, I'm just feeding the machine. My privacy is just another commodity. I could choose to leave, but it's too late. The seduction is powerful and I am already addicted to social media. So come and get me. The Internet is really nothing more than a myth.

 

*Sigh* This reminds me of some depressing conversations I've had at work about the fate of the world. When is the peak oil crisis going to turn off my PC for me and end this parasitic maleficent relationship for good? Please, take me back to a simple and wholesome world where we were too busy gathering our own food to have time to waste trading our privacy for commodities. K, now I'm being tangential (new word I've been dying to use). I'll share more deep thoughts from in a subsequent post.

Awaiting Moderation, eh?

I'm not much of a contributor of knowledge, but at times I want to provide my two cents. I try my best to be polite and to the point, but sometimes my feedback is just not appreciated. Take this posting on what used to be one of my fav blogs about personal finance. It shouldn't shock me that yet another blogger is exploiting her readership by touting merchandise under the guise of advice, but that she's calling her frivolous purchase 'frugal' is enough to make me un-friend her blog.

I will not be shunned. So here are my comments out there in the blog sphere. Take that!

"These are definitely cuter than any grocery store cupcake I’ve ever seen and would probably rival most designer cupcakes that are in vogue right now. However I am surprised that you would advocate buying a single-use seasonal pan for this project. In fact most festive merchandise is a complete waste of money. Just walk through any craft store at this time of year if you want to be sickened by the amount of consumerist plastic garbage being shoved in our faces as essential housewares. I’m sure you could’ve achieved close to the same results by cutting out your cupcakes from a sheet cake. Or how about renting those shaped pans from the Bulk Barn for around $2/day? Think about it -- this pan will be used once and stored for 364 days. I think you’ve advised this before — the best way to be frugal is to just do without."

Apps

K - I still haven't logged off but I needed to rant just a little bit more while I have a buzz (this after having just posted a promise to not complain for three weeks which is nullified if alcohol is at play btw).
I'm startng to have i-Phone envy thanks to all the buzz about apps I'm exposed to like this one for finding recipes.
I used to love to gnaff at ppl who'd spend upwards of $100 for their cell phones each month to call whom exactly? I have a cell phone and I never use it. I don't text, I just don't feel the need to stay in touch when I am on the road. I like not being reachable. Freedom, baby. I'm never away for more than an hour and I do let the people who need me know where I'll be. It's just fun now and then to be able to pretend that I have no responsibilities.

But now I feel like I'm missing something. Arg! However cool these apps are, it's still not worth the expense, right? Financial independence. I can't forget that. Say no to the toys D. Just say no.

Facebook

I've just been reading up on Facebook Addiction -- people who spend more than an hour a day on it ... hmmmmm. I know I am wasting my time checking in and constantly updating my status. But now my family is starting to get annoyed, which tells me it's a problem. Before I make any decisions on how to break the addiction, I should figure out what I like about FB, what my intentions are and what I can definitely do without.

I enjoy sharing information and I appreciate that my friends share their postings with me. It's my Internet filter. If my friends have found something interesting online, then I'm likely to find it interesting as well.

It's a form of self expression. I come across as pretty serious most of the time, so it's great for me to be able to express my wit and humour. Most of my material is good 'ol family folly that many can relate to.

I've been able to re-connect with some friends that I don't get to see on a regular basis and it feels great to have them back in my life again.

So, what annoys me (other than the fact that it's become an uncontrollable habit).

Boasting: A lot of people use FB to brag about how cool they are. It's so transparent and yet considered acceptable on FB. I'll admit that I did this on one of my status updates and it made me feel pretty small afterwards. I recently showed my partner (who incidentally refuses to join FB) a friend's posting that was a public display of affection. My comment was that it's too bad men don't do it because women really eat that sort of thing up. He said that it wasn't a PDA, it was territorial pissing. My husband, always the romantic. I'll admit I've friended a few ex-boyfriends and have made sure there's a good number of great photos of me and my 'gorgeous' family. I might as well have added captions that read "look at me you stupid fucks -- I found love and happiness in spite of you". K -- time to de-friend the exes now that I've got that off my chest. Perhaps it's as simple as examining my intentions every time I feel the need up post something. I want to add value to other people's life, not clutter up their newsfeeds. Who cares what I am doing anyway? I certainly don't care what most of them are doing?

Need for Approval. I'll admit that soon after I post something, I check to see if someone else 'likes' it or has commented. I'm also curious to read other people's comments to postings, even though I don't know these friends of my FB friends. Rarely do the comments add anything of value -- Look at you! How do you manage? Way to go! Praise junkies, is all I can think.

Oversharing: It's too easy to reveal too much about yourself on FB. It makes me cringe, and a couple of times it's even pissed me off. I'm guilty of it too. Do I really want everyone to know everything about me? Or should I reveal parts of myself to only the people who count in my life?

I don't think I can quit cold turkey, like my sister did. I need some boundaries. One site recommends asking yourself “What did I just accomplish by checking Facebook?” That should at least keep my visit focused, instead of just killing time. I could also keep a list (yes, a list) handy of things I could be doing instead of surfing FB. Maybe I'll commit to only posting/updating my status once a week and see where that gets me. Probably the best thing to do would be to examine my intentions -- it will make me more aware and more likely to do the right thing.