Friday, November 25, 2011

Triangular Theory of Love

Intimacy + passion + commitment is the secret formula to fulfilling love apparently. So I did this on-line test to confirm what I already know --major passion deficit, commitment not doing so well either. Apparently the "well I'm still here" sentiment doesn't go far. :-)

It seems overly simplistic to carve up love like this, but I can see elements of truth here. We have a strong friendship and care for one another. Plus our commitment to the family keeps us together. It's typical of many couples to be in this state of 'companionate love' if the passion fades. But it's not like there's zero sex. There's just no abundance of affection or desire. But who dreams of their partners after nine years of marriage? According to this theory, the stronger the friendship, the stronger the intimacy. I'm not sure that I agree, unless I've got intimacy all wrong. There's definitely sharing and closeness, but that's just my nature to be open. I suppose this theory helps me more clearly define problem areas. Can they be fixed? Do I even want them fixed? Not sure.

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