Monday, May 24, 2010

But, it's not fair!!

My kids are constantly comparing what the other has and accusing my partner and I of being unfair -- e.g. "but his piece is bigger", "how come she got to watch that show?" etc. It drives me nuts trying to keep everyone happy. I recently read that it's impossible to be fair -- no one will ever feel they are getting a fair deal, so just give it up already. What's fair is everyone getting what they need. I love this example in the parenting book "Siblings Without Rivalry": Johnny bitches that Susie's pancake is bigger than his. Rather than try to even them up or insist that he's wrong, choose not to go there. Address the need instead -- "it sounds like you're hungry, would you like another pancake?" I love it! Now, if I can only remember it.

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