Friday, August 20, 2010

I don't like the booze, but the booze likes me

My vices, how they hold me captive. I'm craving a lot of alcohol lately, it's sweetness, warmth, buzzzzz ..... ahhhhhh. I try to tell myself that I don't need the extra calories, expense or hang-over (even one beer does it). But I find myself constantly looking forward to it -- as much as I look forward to seeing my kids at the end of the day. This is probably just a coping mechanism to change. I'm not happy being back to work, not one iota. I feel like I'm compromising my values for money which makes me feel incredibly disingenuous (don't think that's the right word). I don't like having dependencies! I'm stronger than that. Here I go again, ending a post with yet another promise ... a dry period? Maybe I should just accept this temporary bout of alcoholism. Why fight it? Everyone will get used to our new routine. Things will be normal again. xx

No comments:

Post a Comment