Saturday, June 18, 2011

Healing Sex



A friend of mine was telling about being stung by a girl he was really into. They had just met and he's the type of guy who typically plays his cards right from the start so that he can get what he's after. But for some reason this girl got the best of him -- her sweetness and attentiveness sucked him right in to the point of him losing the aloof demeanor that drives women to pursue him harder. He was really into her and started to show it. And unfortunately this openness and honesty was too much too soon. It put her off and she ended up rejecting him. Hurt and ashamed he ran to the bed of his ex that night and to the bed of his ex once removed the next night and then picked up a new girl the night after that. Sigh. While I never quite whored around like that, I know exactly the feeling of having sex to heal a wound. In fact I still do it. But does it really fix things? It seemed to repair my friend's esteem. But what did it do for the women he slept with in the process? I bet they did not realize they were being used. Then again, maybe they were using him.
Sex is complicated. We do it for so many reasons -- love, stress, routine, drunkenness, exercise, boredom, insomnia, restitution, guilt and even healing. The great thing about it is that you don't have to own up to why you want it. Your partner has their own reasons too and it's just understood that it's something you both get to keep to yourselves. Whatever brought you to eachother doesn't matter because sex is meant to melt it all away.

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