Sunday, June 19, 2011

More on openness

Back to that story my friend told me of being stung by new love -- I am saddened for another reason. Being open and honest about his emotions is what pushed her away. The chase, the allure, the games -- it's so fucked up! Why hide the beauty of being into someone or something. I love to see passion in other people -- to hear it in their voice and see their eyes light up. It moves me to no end. I feel a special kinship with those who are not afraid to put it on the table and be true to their emotions. And yet I know that society will not embrace openness, that they will be trampled on and made to feel stupid for being so vulnerable. Sigh. I'd like to find this stupid chick and give her a piece of my mind for rejecting someone's honestly. Actually I'd like to round up all the game players and give them an earful.

Then again .... I do it too, inadvertently though. It's no secret that I am less interested in my partner after years of kids, fights, boredom, resentment, etc. That's marriage afterall. And yet what he perceives as aloofness turns him on even more. I know that karma will bite me in the ass for being so arrogant but it's just the way things are. I'm not purposefully trying to play hard to get, I just have a lot going on in my life and thankfully he doesn't take up much space. I don't NEED him and I like it that way. And so this un-neediness is what makes him want me more. Fool. So maybe my friend's love interest was disinterest and not rejection of his openness. Ahhh, it's still 'effed up.

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