Friday, September 3, 2010
The art of dating
I had the most interesting conversation about dating today with a guy who is a self-proclaimed eternal bachelor. He educated me on his dating rules -- a certain protocol he's developed over the years that guarantees success. Success being 'picking up women', that is.
1. never wait more than 3 seconds to approach a woman after you've noticed her; waiting means your confidence will wain which will botch up the pick-up
2. never spend time with a woman in one setting; if you spend an hour in a bar together, it will feel like you spent an hour together but if you go to three places on your date, it will feel like you've spent a lifetime together
2. it takes 7 hours of face time with a woman before things can start to heat up; you can get it down to 4 if you change geographic locations (see above)
3. never ask for a girls name; wait for her to give you her name which establishes a "sign of interest."
4. it takes 3 "signs of interests" before she is ready to be kissed; other signs would be things like her holding a touch a bit longer than normal or sitting close to you, etc.
5. never approach a woman with a compliment -- is a dead conversation starter
6. if a woman physically moves away from you (e.g. leans back), you must do the same, otherwise it will look like you are pursuing her
7. if it appears that she's enjoying your company and you are making her happy, pull away so that she'll want more of what she likes
...okay these are obvious for the most part, it was just shocking to hear someone talk about them all at once. Dating is a dance and at times I really miss it. But then when I heard my colleague talked about #7 I could feel myself burning up inside. GAMES!!! The absolute worse part of dating. I am so grateful that I don't have to succumb to the deceit of game playing -- fucking with someone else's emotions to make yourself more desirable. Jeesh, just thinking about it makes me cringe. But then again, who doesn't play games in relationships (including marriage)?
Games asside, it was still an interesting conversation to have. All of my friends are married, so it's nice to get a different perspective. This guy appears to really enjoy being single which is something I wish I would've appreciated being when I was single.