Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Women are like waves
I'm paying a lot more attention to my mood meter these days. Are there more good days than bad? Do the things that usually bring me happiness still make me happy? When was the last time I laughed? It's a good idea to take note of the highs and lows. So far, I think there are more good days than bad. I won't blog about Aunt Flo, but I'm starting to finally chart all of this so that I can better anticipate my moods -- I underestimate the role that hormones play. I know it's geeky to do, but probably not uncommon -- I recall an old colleague once having a PMS calendar to keep track of his co-workers moods!
Mars and Venus talks about how women are like waves. When our love tanks are full and we feel good about ourselves, we have plenty of love to give and we are more accepting and forgiving. We reach a peak and then out of no where, start to descend. It's not until we hit rock bottom that we can rise up and return to our normal loving selves. If we've suppressed negative feelings or denied ourselves in order to be more loving on the upswing, the negativity will come back ten fold on the down swing. I instinctively don't like how bleak this sounds nor do I appreciate how it generalizes all women. However, there may be some truth to this wave concept. The book goes on to say that men are often baffled by the lows, especially when circumstances haven't really changed. It recommends that women need even more love and support at these times -- they need to talk about their problems and feel like that are heard and understood in order to feel better. Yes, behind every good woman is a good man. Here it is again -- I can't help but think of a couple of my single friends who would thrive if they just had the love and support they so desperately need. Part of me even feels I should be the one to give it to them :P.
I think my partner is finally starting to get it! He used to start in on me --"I can't understand why you are so upset?" "You are really over-reacting" "Why do you let that bother you so much". It's words like these that make us grateful for having our mothers, sisters and girlfriends for support. Thankfully he's learning how to step in and be my shoulder to cry on. No judgement, no advice, just empathy.