Monday, September 6, 2010
Yesterday morning I turned down a glorious Cora's breakfast for the second time in three weeks and MAN, I still feel sorry for myself. I used to love eating out -- someone eles's cooking is always better than my own, and I'm not a bad cook! Of course that's because restaurants really pile on the fat and salt, which I can't bring myself to do at home. So who are all those skinny ppl dining out? Are they closet bulimics? Do they hit the gym for two hours afterwards? Surely they can't all be blessed with high metabolism?
I've *TRIED* to order from the healthy options -- Cora's does sell yogurt, fruit, plain toast after all. But COME ON! When everyone else around me is basking in buttery syrupy heaven, how can I stay strong? My Mom says that I have to accept that there are some foods I will never eat again. I remember a colleague who used to eat a tuna sandwich and orange for lunch, EVERY SINGLE DAY. She said that it was the only way she could stay thin -- she didn't have to worry about what was going to keep her lean, she had already figured it out and just stuck to the list. I know this will not work for me. I crave variety and bore easily.
Like the alcoholic who can't keep booze in the cupboard, I too cannot be near bad food. I polished off an entire large bag of decadent cc cookies last week. Initially bought for my partner and the kids, my partner didn't even realize they were in the house. When I tried to get him to eat them so that I wouldn't be able too, he said he "was full". WTF? "There's always room for dessert"is my motto.
Emotional eating is the culprit. I don't eat because I am hungry. I eat when I am stressed, sad, upset, depressed. Like right now -- so much change in my life and I am having a hard time coping. I also reward myself with dessert -- any excuse will do really.
If I want to conquer my eating problem, I'm going to have to dig deep to the source of my emotional pain, UGH... or at least find a different coping mechanism? K -- I did the impossible and changed my exercise habits, I can beat my poor eating habits too. Negative self talk will never help me achieve my goal. This demon is going down! BOOYEAH!!