Friday, September 3, 2010

More on roles

Thinking about roles again. My partner and I are getting better with not labeling our kids, but it's not easy to let go of our sterotypes. If we can master this at home, just think how it will change our perception and relationship with the rest of the world. It's worth putting effort into.

Here are some tips on how to free children from playing roles (brought to you from the amazing How To Talk So Kids will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk

1. Look for opportunities to show the child a new picture of himself or herself (e.g. For the child who is always accused of being so careless, "You've had that toy since you were three and it almost looks like new.").

2. Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently(e.g. For the child who is called selfish, "Sarah, would you serve everyone their dessert?").

3. Let children overhear you say something positive about them (e.g. For the 'overly-sensitive' child, "He held his arm steady even though the shot hurt.").

4. Model the behaviour you'd like to see (No kidding!).

5. Be a storehouse for your child's special moments (e.g."I remember the time you ...").

6. When the child acts according to the old label, state your feelings and/or your expectations. (e.g. "I don't like that. Despite your strong feelings, I expect sportsmanship from you.")

These make perfect sense. Like everything else, I've got to figure out a way to put them into practice....

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