This is a book that would have really helped me out during my single years but I can also see it's applicability in married life and even with some of my other relationship too. Rather than summarize everything, I'll focus on the points that resonated most with me.
Men (and women) love the chase - we all want what we cannot have. So what does that mean, stay single forever? No, it means don't give all of yourself too soon. Let the desire mount. Don't be so available all of the time either. Show that you have a life outside of your relationship. When you do have free time, your partner will jump all over it. He'll see that you are not needy, he'll want you to want him and he'll chase even more. My first instinct was Bleh! These are games. Why pretend that I do not want to spend time with him. I want connection, raw emotion, closeness. I want to feel deeply and bury my soul, to be completely vulnerable and head over heels in love. Whoa! This book says love is beautful -- just don't go there too soon or without getting what you need in return. Herein lies the problem. I oscillate between doormat and bitch all day. I'm an independent woman who has no qualms stating her needs and expectations. I can be as sweet as pie and I know how to keep his interest. I do a pretty good job of giving him space and resist mothering/nagging. But then there's Needy D that desperately wants his attention and adoration -- and will do anything just to please him. This is where this book is helping me the most right now. More on anti-doormat strategies next post.
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