Friday, May 27, 2011

A perfect dose of reality

So, my week as single-mom is finally up and boy am I grateful for the opportunity to have test-driven divorce ... or at least the functionally independent piece of the picture (emotional and financial distress asside).

What can I say other than "Holy Shit, my Partner is a Saint". He does a lot. I mean a lot. I had no idea until I was left doing it all myself .. and then even then, I let things drop. This was a great reality cheque because I honestly thought that I did more. I knew his contribution was important, but I did not realize the extent of it. I also learned more about myself --that although it was trying at times, I am capable -- brushing teeth and reading in French is not THAT bad. However, when my partner equally shares in household and childcare duties it gives me a break from having to parent all the time, especially when I am feeling tapped out. It also frees up time I can have to MYSELF ,to exercise, read, surf, hang with friends, or whatever. This is important to me and I missed not having so much of it this week. How the hell do single parents do it and still remain sober and sane?

Another great thing was that I really bonded with the kids. I had to be everything for them and I think I did okay. There was no one else distracting me, they got to have all of their Mom for a change. I also felt a renewed sense of freedom to do things my way. I didn't have to check-in with anyone and I didn't have to feel guilty for not living up to someone else's expectations (not that my partner is demanding, because it's me who is Queen Bee). I think this is a healthy attitude and one I should continue regardless if I am solo or not.

I like being self-sufficient to an extent. I can do a lot so there's no reason why I should be shirking off my responsibilities because I have an accommodating partner. I certainly don't want him to wake up one day and realize he does everything and is taken for granted. I will appreciate him more and I will do more myself. I will not be spoiled and unappreciative anymore. My Gawd what a fantastic and exhausting experience -- every couple should be forced into a period of independent parenting for a week.xx

No comments:

Post a Comment